(originally written June 3, 2010… yes, its been a hectic day, so I’m posting this for now – but there are fresh thoughts brewing… will post them soon!)
I’d be lying if I told you there wasn’t a hard part about going to the beach. It begins with the word swimsuit. I’ve never really liked donning a swimsuit, but what’s a girl to do at the beach?
My sister brought me a lovely coverup – a cute little dress and I actually enjoyed wearing it. But at some point, if I was going to swim I had to wear a bathing suit. This means coming to terms, once again with myself. I am a mother of three children, whose shape reflects this fact. I continue to work at being healthy and I regularly exercise, but I am confident I will never look 21 again.
Why is this a problem? I would like to be like the other beautiful people at the beach. Slender, unafraid to step out in their swim clothes, their hair perfect, sand does not stick to their wet flip flops – they are a walking utopia for me…
You see, as I hard as I try, I am continually brought to my knees on this point: My beauty as a woman has absolutely nothing to do with how I look in tankini. The Lord knows how much time I have spent discussing this with him. I would prefer to have someone else’s body – but this is not what is supposed to be so elevated in importance to me.
There are people who laugh at this, but I believe it is true: To be beautiful on the inside is what the heavenly father seeks first for me and that is what is important. I know that because of His work in my life, I am becoming a beautiful woman. His desire is for His fruit to blossom and grow, creating a most beautiful creature by His hand. Anything else, inside or out is only a counterfeit.
Does this mean I give up on the temple He has given me? Absolutely not. I have every intention of making healthy choices and being as physically fit as possible. But my desire is to be comfortable in my own skin, no matter where I am in the process.
More importantly I want to value what my Heavenly Father thinks of my inward beauty over what the world sees in my outward beauty. Wow is that hard for me. But, as I sat on the beach I was able to reflect on what He sees. I am far more patient with my children than I used to be. I am learning what it means to treat others with love and respect. He and I together are making strides towards the beauty He desires for me.
Proverbs 31: 30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Heavenly Father,
Help me to see from your point of view when I look in the mirror. When it comes to beauty, remind me once again how beautiful I am and how much you love me, no matter my size or how my bathing suit looks… Let me walk in this confidence alone!
m
daily portion 