This morning was similar to most of my mornings. A little snuggle, a little breakfast, a little school. A lot of noise, a lot of playing, hopefully a lot of learning. Em, at her place at the table doing a bit of math – me on the couch with Isaac doing the sticker book.
And I have to say – the sticker book is my favorite to do with my little boy. But, I try to let him pick, and so this morning as he picked the sticker book, we nestled up on the couch in a comfy spot and we began our journey. Plucking a sticker, finding its place and fixing it in just the right spot. He’s actually pretty good at it, but I try to give him positive feedback. Normally he is proud of his work; today his reaction is beyond pride. After each sticker he would exclaim, “I did it!” and he’d throw his arms around my neck with a hug and a kiss. It was a wonderful experience for me. He’s so expressive for a 3 year old boy and as his mommy, I’m learning to soak it all up and save it for later…
Unfortunately, sticker books are not all that I’m responsible for around here! I’m a wife, a mom, a friend, a piano teacher and oh yes – I’m a children’s choir director. One of my favorite things that I am blessed to do is be the children’s choir director at my church. Each little face, each little voice is a wonder to me and I love the fact that their parents allow me to be a part of their lives.
We sing this Sunday in the worship services. Three songs. I’m a bit preoccupied with it and its been taking a bit of time for me to think it through and be prepared. Last week after rehearsal I felt good about it. Now, I’m a bit doubtful, but we press on.
But back to my current reality – I’m looking around my house. Its a bit less than tidy, my laundry hamper is full, even though I thought I had conquered the laundry yesterday – and there are dishes in the sink. No matter how often I sweep, my floors look as though I don’t even own a swiffer… I think about it a bit more and realize I’m going to need to squeeze another hour into my day, but I’m not sure how!
Sometimes, when I have a minute alone I wonder if anyone notices. I mean, I am working hard, aren’t I? There are a lot of times when my house is clean and mt. laundry has receded a bit and my family members have a warm dinner in their tummies. Not to mention, I think my children’s choir is actually going to sound pretty good on Sunday. I look around – I’m thinking inside – “I did it” (I’m trying not to shout it out…) – but there is no one’s cheek to kiss, or neck to hug. I’m sitting by myself on my bed. I need a good solid embrace – but my husband is at work for another couple of hours.
I know HE’s here with me, in theory – but I can’t seem to feel it right now…
There’s a scripture (where else can I turn, really?)- its in one of the later Old Testament books -that comes to mind. I can hear something vaguely in the distance – I think He’s whispering softly to me. What’s that? He says he sings over me! Oh wait, there’s more- he whirls around with delight when he thinks about me! Its a thought full of love that envelopes me and warms me from the inside out. And I need to take a moment for it to do its work in my heart.
And that is the embrace I need for the moment, for doing the house work and for teaching piano lessons, for being a wife and for being a mother. And its for all the people there at church, who will listen and sing with us on sunday. The embrace from my Heavenly Father reminds me of this truth – no matter my efforts I can’t sing to him because of who I am or what I’ve done – but I can sing because of how much He loves me!
“We love Him because He first loved us!”
So if you are at our church on Sunday, and see the children’s choir singing, you will know what I’m really thinking – you’ll see me singing – you might even see a little whirl!
md
(written November 19, 2009)
daily portion 